A Selfish Act – Part II

As you know, I have written about surviving suicide several times before. It is a very painful subject for me, because my family has experienced it more times than usual, it seems. I have mentioned before that my father, my brother, my ex-brother in-law have all committed suicide. Two weeks ago, another member of our extended family did the same.

According to S.A.V.E  “Suicide takes the lives of 30,000 Americans every year.” This is a staggering figure.

Trying to make sense of suicide as an adult is difficult. Trying to explain suicide to your children is impossible. Trying to make them understand why multiple people in your family would do the same is incomprehensible.

You have to make them understand that nothing they could have done differently would have changed things. You have to make them understand that they are not at fault. This is not an easy task. Children often ask why their loved ones left them here if they loved them so much. Wow, it hurts when you hear questions like that.

Also, you have to make sure you understand the warning signs of depression so, that you can get your children help before they head into trouble. Depression and suicide runs in families, like mine,  and that in itself is a scary fact.

If you feel you are depressed get help immediately, do not wait. If you know someone that is depressed encourage them to get help. Symptoms of depression and its warning signs can be found here.

Suicide, like I have said before, is a very selfish act. Those that choose this path, do not think about those they leave behind. Nor do they consider the emotional, and financial mess they leave behind. For those that have survived suicide you are left to deal with not only the emotional and financial fallout, but often the social fallout as well.

Suicide still has a stigma attached to it. People do not understand it and cannot until they experience themselves. Even though depression treatment has made huge leaps and bounds over the years, it is still largely an illness not understood.

If suicide has touched your family, my heart goes out to you. It can be a horrible process and the healing can continue for many years. Just remember, time doesn’t heal all wounds, it just makes the pain easier to bear.





  1. Daria says:

    I can’t imagine. And yes, I agree that suicide is a very selfish act. I’ve had a couple of people mention they were considering it and I got so mad at them – don’t you dare do that to your family! Because that’s who’s left to suffer and hold the pieces – the family.

    I am so sorry this has affected you so often. How terrible. Hugs to you and yours.

  2. cynthia says:

    Thank you Daria. We have had our more than our share. I think the focus needs to be on early warning signs and prevention, too many are still dying from something so preventable.

  3. Paula Schuck says:

    I am so very sorry for all your losses. This is my first visit to your blog. Glad you pointed it out to me. My grandfather committed suicide- he was mentally ill- long history there. My father tried several times when we were little kids. Before the divorce. I used to think yes so selfish. Now I spend so much time with mentally Ill children and other relatives that I often think they can ‘t see selfish bc their brain is not working right at the time. So now mostly I feel sad for them. Not sure it is selfish any more.



  4. cynthia says:

    Paula, I agree that they are not in the right mind set and may not understand that their actions are “seflish” but, it still is.

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