Difficult Christmas

One year ago today I wrote a post about Christmas without my mom, this is the second year without my mom, and the first year without my son and my grandchild. For those of you new to my blog, my mother died on April 11, 2010. I miss her terribly and things have been so different since she has been gone.┬áThis year will be a difficult Christmas for me, not that last year wasn’t. I have felt her absence a great deal this year especially since I am not on speaking terms with my oldest son. She would have not only given me words of wisdom, but she would have talked some sense into my son and I would have gotten to know my first grandchild. He will be a year old on December 26th and I have never seen him.

My mom kind of held our family together in recent years and the family Christmas party was held at her house. I inquired today about whether we were actually going to have a family Christmas party this year since I had not heard anything. My mom usually handled the details of letting everyone know the when, where and how of it all. Christmas just isn’t the same without the gathering at mom’s. I miss her.

My mother was always in the kitchen. Whenever you came into her house she was usually in the kitchen with her little television on the Food Channel, the Food Network or something of that nature. I remember going to her house after leaving the cemetery and walking into the kitchen expecting to see my mom, and she wasn’t there. It was so weird. Rest in peace mom, I love you.

If you have lost someone close to you at Christmas time, my heart goes out to you, this is a difficult time of year for missing family who is no longer with us. We try to focus on the good times and smile, but our hearts still long for the presence of the ones no longer here. I wish you all Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. May God Bless you all.



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