My Family

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Let me tell you about my family. I have three sons. Aaron is the oldest, Andrew is the middle and Matthew is the youngest. Andrew is married and his wife’s name is Jesse and they have a baby on the way. Aaron is my adopted son and he currently lives in Maryland, and I haven’t seen him in two years. Matthew is currently living with us but he is moving out soon.

Last night we were all sitting around the dinner table talking about our lives, which is rare for us all to get together at night, as both my sons work in retail. Andrew and Jesse were talking about the fact that they still haven’t taken a honeymoon and with both of their class loads this Fall he doesn’t see how they are going to be able to. Matthew was chatting on about his life in the future, getting back into college and how that might affect his job, etc….and I began to reflect on how fast life changes.

I was eighteen when I had Andrew, twenty-two when I had Matt and now they are all grown and moving on with their lives and beginning their own families. As I was watching them interact as grown ups I began to long for the days when the house was filled with laughter, fussing, music, and well, just kid stuff. When the kids all come over now the house is all busy for a few hours and then once they leave it is all quiet again.

It never really bothered me when my kids moved out, that is what they are supposed to do, grow up and become independent. However, every now and then when they have been here and the laughter is strong and the times are loud and fun is abound, I feel that tugging at my heart strings wishing for when they were little again, and then I remind my self they become teenagers…………

Seriously, just take the time to enjoy every moment you have with your children because you never know when tomorrow may not come. They grow up so fast and we take for granted those dinners together or those long talks that are few and far between. Being a parent is the most rewarding job in the world and it lasts forever.

thegeekwife

My Mentor

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As I journey towards the last 4 of my graduate level classes for my Master’s degree in Criminal Justice, I pause to reflect on my mentor. I remember the very first class I ever took from her. It was called Intro to Criminal Justice. I actually took it as an elective for my Social Work program. I had heard a lot about her from other students coming from the other campus. You know how you get an opinion of someone before you even meet them? Well I as dead wrong. She was entertaining, outgoing, funny, smart, driven and I wanted to be just like her.

If there was anything about Criminal Justice you wanted to know, she knew, anyone you wanted to know, she knew, anything you wanted to do, she’d done. I was amazed and fascinated. Some of the funniest stories she told us in class had to do with some of the worst possible situations you can imagine. She made learning this difficult subject fun. As I mentioned before this was an elective for me, well not after this first class it wasn’t. It became my major and my passion.

As I continued my journey towards my A.S., B.S. and M.S., she was always there encouraging me along. Whenever I wanted to quit, or felt like I was too old, or too far behind the game, she was always giving me the encouragement I needed. You see, I started back to college at 37, after a 15 year hiatus, so I was ancient in the eyes of some of my classmates. I have been attending school non-stop since 2003 and say the least I am ready to do something different.

Well, she is willing to give me that chance. I will hopefully be teaching college classes at a two year university in my town very soon. This has been a dream of mine for a while. This lady has been my guardian angel, my encourager, my support, and my mentor. She may not want to be mentioned publicly because of the nature of her job, but she will know I am speaking of her when she reads this.

The reason I am writing this today is one, to publicly thank her for making a difference in my life, I could not have done it without her. Two, please, please reach out to someone and make a difference in their life. Become a mentor for someone and show them they can be all they can or want to be.

thegeekwife

Old Fashioned Etiquette in An Electronic Age

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I have never been more astounded at the lack of the knowledge of proper etiquette in today’s modern electronic age as I was when it came time to mail out my wedding invitations. The questioned was posed to me of just emailing my wedding invitations to all of my guests. I, of course, was horrified to be asked such a question; it was out of the question of course. Etiquette requires that an invitation to an event be mailed and handwritten.

Many of my friend’s and associates were completely comfortable with this idea. I however am not. Many of you, who know me, know that I have ranted on this topic before. I understand that most people are either connected at the hip (per se) to their notebook, netbook, iPad, iPhone, Droid, etc….. This makes receiving and storing things such as events, completely easy. However, it is not an excuse not to now or understand proper etiquette.

The thing that really griped me was when people simply either did not READ their invitation or were not informed of the proper etiquette to understand a wedding invitation. I received many questions from invitees, if so and so was invited; well I assumed they had read their invitation. The invitations read Mr. & Mrs _______ and on the inside envelope it said Jane and John Doe. To those of us that understand proper etiquette this meant ONLY Jane and John were invited. Yet we continued to receive questions about whether other people in the family were invited. We even had some quests who assumed every one in the family was invited, even though the invitation specifically listed those invited. This made for a very uncomfortable situation to have to keep explaining how to read a wedding invitation.

I know we live in a modern age of technology, however, parents PLEASE inform your children of proper etiquette and social behavior. I understand Home Economics is not taught in schools any more, but this is common knowledge and needs to be learned by the younger generation.

thegeekwife

Mothers and Daughters

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You know, when I thought about the idea of blogging, I never thought my first blog post would be about my mother. Our relationship was like a lot of mothers and daughters relationships; difficult. I loved my mother; do not get me wrong, she and I were just completely different. As I watched my mother lying there dying in her last few days, I had time to reflect on what was our relationship. You see, when I found out my mother was dying; I had not spoken to her for 8 months.

Like most mother and daughters do, we had a terrible fight and it led to another long period of silence between us. As my mother lay dying, I kept repeating to myself, I would do anything to have those 8 months back again and I would do it all differently. But was this true? We could not change who we were, nor could we go back and take away all the hurtful things that were said.  I began to look back on our relationship and I realized it was a roller coaster ride.

You see, I was not the favored child, I reminded my mother of herself. I made her same mistakes I made her wrong decisions, therefore I became her. The main difference between my mother and myself, is that you never asked my mother her opinion unless you really wanted it because you were going to get it. Also, my mother liked being the center of attention, I do not.

I miss my mother every moment of every day. We may have had an impossible relationship, but she was still my mother. I write this post as a wake up call to those who may have regrets regarding a parent or family member or who may have hurt someone in your family. Please do not let wounds go unhealed.

We are never guaranteed a tomorrow. And as am preparing to marry, I regret every moment of everyday that the last 8 months of my mother’s life was spent without her daughter in it. My mother died on April 11, 2010. God rest her soul.

thegeekwife

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